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    Consultee Contact

    Midwest Psychiatric Center, Inc. is a private psychiatric practice owned by my colleague, Dr. Rakesh Kaneria.  I provide therapy to adults and a small number of children/adolescents at this location.  We can accept most commercial insurances, as well as Caresource (of Ohio Medicaid) and Medicare.  Adult clients who work with me at MPC also have the option to see Dr. Kaneria for evaluation and medication management if desired or needed.  Child psychiatric evaluation and medication management are not available with MPC.    We are located in West Chester, OH near the UC West Chester Hospital, just off I-75, between Liberty Way. and Tylersville Rd.

    Call us:
    1-513-217-5221

    Send a message: Contact Us

    Book Review: A Better Man

    3 years ago · · 0 comments

    Book Review: A Better Man

    I first learned of this book on The Today Show while home with my 9 month old son on COVID Quarantine in September 2020, just after its release.  As a new mother trying to figure out parenting together with my husband, I had already begun grappling with big questions about how to raise our new little one to be a good human.

    Intrigued, I decided to read the book and review it here.  I enlisted the help of some men for whom I have a great deal of respect, as I feel under-qualified to register an opinion of the male experience.  The review that follows is my attempt at sharing the highlights of a book club style discussion I shared with with my good friend Todd, my father Tony, and my friend’s Justin.  Justin’s wife and my dear friend Bernadette also joined our discussion, bringing another mother’s perspective.  Each member of our little group brought a unique point of view from their respective generations, religious traditions, political leanings, childhood experiences, lived experiences, and cultures, which made for a lively and thought provoking discussion.

    We all agreed the book was entertaining, honest, vulnerable, and timely.  Black’s comedy career shines through beautifully in his witty one-liners and clever takes on social constructs of masculinity.  We also agreed portions of the book were very powerful and raw, particularly the opening reflection on the 2012 mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary.  Todd described the opening as “gripping.”  Black bravely shares much of his own personal story in the book, sharing many memories that resonated with the group. My father shared, “I could really relate to them from my own experience with my dad and being a father.”

    Black’s book challenges the idea of “toxic masculinity” in its third chapter, a bold move in today’s society, and I believe he attempts to call his son (and his readers) to a more balanced view of masculinity.  Black states:

    I don’t like the phrase “toxic masculinity.”  To me, the term implies that there’s something inherently wrong with men, some poison baked into our Y chromosomes….Yes, be aware of certain bilious – and worse – behaviors men sometimes display.  Yes, be sensitive to women’s concerns for their safety and well-being.  Yes, do the steady work of self-improvement.  But I worry that continuously describing male expression as toxic has the cumulative effect of denying the goodness of men.  Although men bear responsibility for much of what’s wrong in the world, we also provide some share of what’s right.

    I personally felt this passage validated my view of many of the very Good (capital G intended) men in my life, including those participating in our book discussion, as well as my husband, my brother, and many others.  Justin observed the balance of masculine and feminine traits as healthy and necessary, rather than adversarial or contradictory.  Further, as a group we also affirmed Black’s message that masculine and feminine qualities are not absolutely bound by our chromosomes.  I recalled a recent and touching example of this very point.  One night, coincidentally while reading the book, I overheard my very patient husband soothing our little teether in the nursery with gentle and nurturing words, “I love you…I’ve got you…it’s okay.”  (Oh my heart!)  My wonderful husband, who typically is not demonstrative or liberal in doling out the “warm fuzzies” showed a tender and nurturing side of him in caring for our baby.  He showed traits that society often attributes to mothers but are just are healthy and necessary in any parent, regardless of gender.  Is it not a disservice to men that we pigeonhole them with expectations macho behavior and traits?

    Black dives deeply into the expanding the definition of “manliness” and challenges social influences that perpetuate the stereotype of the macho, emotionally detached male.  We can surely work as a society to affirm and welcome others to be able to authentically express who they are without judgment or shame. Black’s ideas are surely goals we can work toward, though we are certainly not there yet.  Todd observed these ideas to be “great in theory but difficult in practice”, and he shared some of his own parenting wisdom in our discussion:

    I always tell my boys and everybody else that the world is full of some pretty hurtful, mean people.  I wish that it wasn’t, but it is what it is. If you can always be true to yourself, you know who you are and who you want to be. Try to stick with that, but it is hard.

    Indeed bullies exist, and bigotry is not difficulty to find.  So living authentically – especially then breaking the mould or shattering a stereotype – self-assurance, confidence, and even thick skin are often times necessities.

    While our group embraced much of Black’s commentary, one area we challenged was the author’s authority on certain subject areas.  Black does not boast to be an academic of any sort.  In fact, he humbly states in his Today Show interview, “I’m a c-list, basic cable comedian.  I’m a dad.”  What qualifies him to impart this wisdom in “a (mostly serious) letter to [his] son” is simply his lived experience as a man and father.  Personally, I take no issue with a father’s desire to share his story and life lessons with his child.  However, I struggled in particular (as did some in our group discussion) with some of his out-of-context references, misuse of Christian scripture, and limited understanding of Feminist Theory included in a published work.

    Our lively discussion of a poignant book only began to skim the surface.  There is much to unpack from Black’s message to his son and readers.

    My personal takeaway is that it’s not so much about focusing on what it means to be a good man, but more what it means to be a good human being.  The challenge, as my father put it, is to “get back to something more foundational: being a good person.”


    We give this book an A-.

    Typically at the close of one of my book reviews I offer a summary “grade” with the positives and negatives I took away from it.  This time, I’m attempting to summarize our group’s take-aways.

    Positives: As a group we all agreed the Black was courageous in his vulnerability and willingness to tackle touch subject matters.  We found the book entertaining and timely.  The content is refreshingly honest and likely relatable to many in one way or another.

    Negatives: Black’s points are overly generalized at times, and he appears to have an incomplete understanding of the female experience.  While he does acknowledge masculinity and femininity are not dictated solely by our genetics, the lens through which he views these constructs is still rather binary.

    My suggestion is to read it for what it is: one man’s message to his son.


    BLACK, M. (2020). BETTER MAN: A mostly serious letter to my son. Chapel Hill, NC: ALGONQUIN OF CHAPEL HILL.

     


    Special thanks to Todd Engel, Tony Groshek, Justin McClain, and Bernadette McClain for being willing to share, discuss, and debate with me!


    Social Work Month 2021: Social Workers are Essential

    3 years ago · · 0 comments

    Social Work Month 2021: Social Workers are Essential

     

    It’s that time of year again!  Happy Social Work Month to my colleagues and friends in the field!  This is always a great time to celebrate the profession and raise public awareness about what we do, and I’m really excited about this year’s theme.

    The National Association of Social Workers (NASW) will help lead this year’s Social Work Month celebration in this month with the theme “Social Workers are Essential” to highlight the invaluable contributions social workers make in our society, especially as this nation addresses the Coronavirus pandemic.

    The Social Work Month campaign will inform the public, policymakers, and legislators about the way the nation’s social workers each day meet people where they are and help them live to their fullest potential.

    Social work is one of the fastest growing professions in the United States, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). There are currently about 700,000 professional social workers in our nation, but that number is expected to rise to more than 800,000 by 2029, BLS said.

    Social work has been around for more than a century and has made significant contributions to our nation. For example, social workers such as social reformer Jane Addams, former Labor Secretary Frances Perkins, and civil rights leaders Dorothy Height, Whitney Young, and Ida B. Wells have helped Americans secure voting rights, equal rights, Social Security, unemployment insurance, and other programs.

    You will also find social workers throughout society – protecting children from abuse and neglect, providing mental health and substance use disorder treatment, assisting active-duty military, veterans and their families, in schools, helping corporations better serve their communities, and in community organizations as well as in local, state and government.

    I am frequently inspired by the dedication of my colleagues, as well as the students I mentor.  During the Coronavirus pandemic social workers have been on the frontlines along with doctors, nurses, grocery store staff and other essential employees.   In my fellow social workers observe a passion for service and the commitment to the dignity of others. In particular, over the last year, I have seen them rally to help our communities through crisis and discord.  Helping with new challenges in food insecurity, employment, healthcare, education, and trauma, social workers have really had to get creative to be both safe and effective in serving our communities.  I am inspired by the dedication of my colleagues on a daily basis.

    However, the social work profession faces challenges. There is shortage of social workers in schools where they are needed to help young people cope with complicated issues such as trauma, poverty, the opioid addiction crises, and the need for more resources to help students learn during the pandemic.

    And although social workers play a critical role in our nation’s health care and mental health system, they could be better compensated for the work they do, according to a 2019 report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine.  Safety concerns, title protection, research, and specialized training are areas of significant need in order to sustain the profession, increase our numbers, and hone our skills and knowledge.

    So, during Social Work Month NASW will provide these a number of tools to help promote the profession and address some of the issues.  I will be sharing some information about my work and the work of my colleagues through social media, so if you’re not already, please consider following my practice page.

    When I was a senior social work student at The Catholic University of America, our student organization recognized Social Work Month with some fun t-shirts that said “Celebrate service!  Hug a Social Worker!”  While I don’t advise hugging your friendly social worker in this time of social distancing, please consider a “Thank you!”  And to my colleagues, I send you all a very enthusiastic elbow bump!

    NAMI Walk 2020

    3 years ago · · 0 comments

    NAMI Walk 2020

    Every year, the National Alliance on Mental Illness of Southwest Ohio hosts its fundraiser walk to raise funds to help people with mental illness and their families through education, support programming, advocacy, and public awareness efforts. Here are some of the ways mental illness affects our loved ones, families, and community:

    In years past the NAMI Walk was a major event, with a large gathering of participants, community organizations and agencies, food trucks, and live music.  Last year the walk was held at Sawyer Point in Cincinnati on a sunny day in May, and the event drew quite a crowd.

    In 2020, things were a little different.  The May walk was postponed due to the COVID-19 Pandemic, and it was eventually rescheduled for October as a “virtual walk.”  People across southwest Ohio and beyond participated, each in their own way, to continue to the effort to support NAMI.  One of the benefits of this virtual walk is that people could join in the day in their own way.  Instead of the traditional 5k walk, some folks chose to run, ride their bike, or pledge another activity to the project.

    I was proud to lead a team in the walk again this year, and despite the challenges of the pandemic, I’m also proud to say we exceeded our fundraising goal!  We raised 120% of our goal!  Thanks to the walk being virtual, we were able to complete our walks safely and in a variety of interesting and fun locations – a definite silver lining to COVID’s impact on the event!  We had walkers (and runners!) in parks, on rec trails, in neighborhoods, on cross country courses, and even at Disney World!  Our teammate, Liz dedicated a 30 minute power vinyasa yoga practice, and her son dedicated his cross country race.  Megan ran 3.2 miles in her neighborhood.  Sarah and her family stomped out the stigma with Mickey and his pals in the Magic Kingdom.  Our team was both impressive and creative in supporting NAMI this year!

    Todd and his family enjoyed their walk at a local Metropark.

    Noah dedicated his high school cross country race to the cause.  Look at him go!

    I did my walking with my husband and son on a rec trail near our home.  It was a brisk morning, so we had to bundle up a little.  Thank goodness the October sun was shining through the trees to warm us up.  Our walk was a total of 2.5 miles, which was pretty good for us, given the short attention span of our little guy!

    Thank you to my husband and son for walking with me! Even Teddy came with us, too!

    Baby’s first NAMI Walk!

    Thank you to the team for helping support NAMI’s important mission. Your participation and enthusiasm made this year’s walk both successful and fun!  Thank you to all those who made donations, especially our small business donors.  Your generosity will help bring about so much good, right here in our community.  With everyone helping out, we certainly did a lot to raise awareness about mental health, fund important projects and services, and create a sense of community to let people know they are not alone!

     

    Thank you to our team’s donors:

    • Mary Bignell
    • Stephanie Huelsman
    • The McClain Family
    • The Pabin Family
    • Casey Harper
    • Pat Fogt
    • The Groshek Family
    • Debbie and Tony Groshek
    • Dianne Groshek
    • Anonymous
    • Christine Johnston

    Thank you to our team’s business donors:

    To learn more about NAMI of Southwest Ohio, visit their website.

    Book Review: Something Beautiful

    4 years ago · · 0 comments

    Book Review: Something Beautiful

    “Something Beautiful” by Sharon Dennis Wyeth, illustrated by Chris K. Soentpiet is a poignant picture book that I was first introduced to years ago.  I was working as a clinical intern at the Lt. Joseph P. Kennedy Institute in Washington DC, and one of the staff members shared it with me.  I have used the book in my practice with adults and children ever since, as it tells a story of resilience, mindfulness, and gratitude.

    The story is of a little girl growing up in a neighborhood where she sees a lot of things that are not so lovely: brick walls, broken glass, litter, graffiti, homelessness, and dangerous dark alleys.  Then at school she learns to spell the word, “beautiful” and subsequently goes on a scavenger hunt through her little world, asking people to help her find “a something beautiful.”  Various people share examples of ways they recognize beauty in their daily lives, and our little protagonist discovers ways to find beauty and create positive change.  She even makes discoveries about her own beauty.

    Illustrations by Chris K. Sointpiet

    Themes of connection, friendship, hope, and resilience permeate this story, which both acknowledges the presence of ugliness in our world but celebrates the enduring beauty that can be found despite i

    Illustrations by Chris K. Sointpiet

    At a time when we are seeing a lot of fear, hatred, anger, violence, intolerance, disease, and death, I find this inspiring children’s book especially meaningful.  It offers a reminder to readers, both young and old, that beauty in not lost in times of hardship.  Going further, we are invited to participate in healing, positive change, and connection.

    When I share this story with my clients, I typically encourage them to spend some time looking for the beautiful things in their world.   Sometimes the answers are obvious, but other times we have to look really hard.  However bleak it may seem, glimmers or hope and hidden treasures can still be found.  It’s an exercise in mindful awareness and gratitude.

    Making my own way through a very challenging time, I find myself searching for “a something beautiful” and feeling encouraged when I discover them.  Below are a few examples of beautiful things that have been uplifting to me in recent weeks.

          


    I give this book an A+.

    What I love about “Something Beautiful” is that it is not a fluffy, saccharine story that tells children (and adults) that the world is all bubbles and sunshine.  It acknowledges that there is ugliness in this world.  It validates that life is hard and downright scary sometimes, but Wyeth and Sointpiet help us to remember that all is not lost, even in the darkest times.  There is a great deal of beauty to be found, and I believe when we find beauty we can help it grow, as the little girl in the story does.

    Soentpiet’s illustrations are very artfully done, depicting the realities of our world, celebrating diversity, and highlighting the human spirit.   Wyeth’s simple and direct story telling inspires, brings a smile, and encourages gratitude.

    The book itself is “something beautiful.”


    Wyeth, S. D. (2002). Something Beautiful. New York: Random House USA Inc.


    What to Expect from Teletherapy

    4 years ago · · 0 comments

    What to Expect from Teletherapy

    The COVID-19 Pandemic has been a game-changer for just about every aspect of daily life for most of us. The way we eat, work, dress, communicate, shop…it often seems like everything has changed.  Counseling is no different.  In an attempt to maintain access to psychotherapy services, many mental health care providers are continuing to practice via Telehealth, which has posed a challenge for both patient and provider alike.  Many people find Telehealth to be intimidating, unfamiliar, and even scary, but it doesn’t have to be.  Here are some things you need to know about remote mental health care that will help make it easier, less intimidating, and even more fruitful.

    What is Telehealth?

    There are a lot of terms going around to describe the process of working with a healthcare provider over technology, as opposed to in person.  Generally speaking, the terms “Telehealth” and “Telemedicine” can be used interchangeably to describe the practice of health care over some form of technology when the practitioner and patient/client are not physically present with one another.  It is typically conducted over some video-conferencing platform specially equipped with privacy and confidentiality protection.  While HIPAA regulations for Telehealth have been relaxed due to the Pandemic, Telehealth is typically not conducted over less secure platforms such as FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, or social media.  Some examples of more secure platforms for Telehealth include SnapMD, eVisit, CarePaths, American Well, and Doxy.me.

    Teletherapy is a specific type of Telehealth.  It is the practice of providing psychotherapy services through online video connection.  Ideally, the same treatment that would be offered in person is offered remotely.

    What technology is involved?

    Most Telehealth platforms allow the patient/client to easily participate using a variety of devices.  Smartphones, tablets, and computers (laptop and desktop) will work, as long camera and microphone are enabled.  (On most devices this is automatic, and you don’t need to do anything, other than maybe click an “allow” button.). Some platforms work better on certain web browsers.  Your provider should let you know if you need to use a specific browser like Firefox, Google Chrome, etc.

    In many situations, a good pair of headphones or earbuds can be helpful for Teletherapy, though they are usually not required.  They help minimize distractions, and increase privacy.  Some even filter out background noise.  If you want to use headphones or earbuds, be sure they also have a microphone function.

    General suggestions for clients:

      1. Prepare for your session as you would an in-person session. Budget the same amount of time for your session, including transition time before and after your session.  If needed and if possible, arrange for child care.  If you were given homework and a between session task, do your best to complete it.  Set the tone for yourself by getting dressed and grooming as you would an in-person session.  You will be more invested in the work.
      2. Ask questions. This is new for most of us.  If you are nervous or confused, ask questions.  If you need help understanding the technology involved, it’s okay to ask for assistance.  There is not shame in asking a question to better understand your treatment.   
      3. Be patient. Because this is new to many providers, as well as their clientele, obstacles and challenges will get in the way.  In general, accessing Telehealth platforms is easy and intuitive, but as with anything, there can be complications.  Try to be patient if technology fails or isn’t working properly.  Remember there is a learning curve for most people as they learn how to utilize Telehealth.  Also remember it’s okay if things feel a little awkward at first.  Teletherapy is a very different type of interaction from an in-person session, and it’s okay if there is some adjustment.  Likewise, it is okay to give yourself permission to grieve the change, even the loss experienced by changed interactions with your therapist. Don’t be afraid to bring that up in session if needed!
      4. Choose your environment intentionally. Consider who is nearby when you are having a teletherapy session.  Can you be overheard?  Will you be un interrupted?  Are you safe and relatively comfortable in the space you chose?  Can you give your undivided attention to the session?  It may be necessary to make some accommodations for the session like adjusting the light, asking family members to respect your privacy, crating the dog, or even asking someone to sit with the children.  Consider any comfort items or therapeutic tools you may want to have close by like a box of tissues, cozy blanket, glass of water, fidget toys, or aromatherapy.
      5. Have a pen and paper available during your session. In case audio fails, it can be helpful to communicate a brief solution, such as “I’m logging out and back in” or “I will call you on the phone.”  It may also be helpful to write down notes or ideas.  Writing down the date, time, and log in instructions for your next appointment may also be useful.
      6. Cue your therapist.  Remember, your therapist can’t read your body language and other cues as well by telecommunication as she/he can in person. It may be necessary to be a little more direct in verbalizing emotions, shifting thoughts/feelings, and needs.  It is helpful to cue your therapist about how you are responding to the session. For example, “I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed”, “I’m doing okay”, “I can keep working on this”, or “This is too much for me today.”
      7. Make the most of the opportunity.  There are some unique benefits to Teletherapy clients may wish to take advantage of. For example, bringing a companion animal to the session, sharing expressive artwork, playing a musical instrument, and being in the comfort of your own home can sometimes enhance the therapeutic experience.  It should be noted though, that these things can present as distractions as well.  Additionally, home is unfortunately not a safe or secure environment for everyone.  Be sure to communicate with your therapist about the pros/cons of the environment you are in for your session.
      8. Ask for what you need. It’s always a good idea to give your therapist feedback about how treatment is going, if adjustments are needed, or if there is a change in your needs or priorities for therapy.  Don’t be afraid to speak up.

    What to expect for Teletherapy with Me

    Doxy.me is the platform I am currently using to conduct Teletherapy sessions.  It works on a smartphone, tablet, or computer, as long as whatever device you are using has internet connection, a camera, a microphone, and functioning speakers. Prior to your session, support staff will contact you with a link that is unique to my practice.  You will follow that link to log in, identify yourself, and check into a “virtual waiting room.”  The prompts are clear and easy to follow.  Once you are waiting, I will see your name in a queue, along with a still picture of you when you logged in.  I will begin the session as soon as I can.  I may be wrapping up the session before yours, taking a phone call, etc.  If you are kept waiting more that 10 minutes past your session start time, call the office.  Otherwise, don’t worry!  I won’t forget you!

    For those of my clients receiving EMDR Therapy, we can continue our work even though we are not meeting in person.  Modifications to EMDR protocols can be made in simple ways that we can discuss and evaluate for your comfort and needs.  All modifications I utilize are approved by the EMDR International Association, as well as taught and recommended by EMDR experts.  I also sometimes use a program called EMDR Remote, which has Doxy.me embedded in it.  Through EMDR Remote, I can provide eye movement and/or auditory bilateral stimulation.  The log in process is slightly different but very simple and straight forward.  EMDR Remote works best on a laptop or desktop computer, as a screen that is at least six inches wide is best.  Some tablets will work as well.  The makers of EMDR Remote recommend using Google Chrome or Fire Fox as your browser.  We will discuss details prior to an EMDR session to hep assure everything goes as smoothly as possible, so don’t worry.  You’ll know everything you need to know to get started.

    Below are some screen shots which show what clients see on their screens while utilizing the two platforms I work through.  Thank you to my good friend, Liz, and my husband, Chris for being my models!

    This image shows what a client will see in a session via Doxy.Me. The client video is in the top right corner and can be moved to a different spot on the screen or removed entirely. This mock session was conducted with the “client” using an iPhone.   

     

    This image is also a client’s view during a Doxy.me session. It also shows the control buttons at the bottom of the screen. The camera icon allows you to turn the video function on/off. If it is off, I cannot see you. The microphone icon will turn the audio on/off.  If it is off, I cannot hear you. The next icon over controls more advanced settings. The red telephone icon will end the session.  You can adjust volume using the usual controls on your device.

     

    This is an example of what clients see while using EMDR remote. The light bar is at the top of the screen where the blue oval is. I control the functions of the light bar and can make adjustments according to your preferences (e.g. color, shape, speed). The video underneath the light bar is the same as on a Doxy.me session. Also, isn’t my husband handsome? 😉

     

    This is what clients will see during an EMDR reprocessing session when I turn on the light bar. My image will go away so all you see is the black screen with the light moving across from left to right. You will continue you hear me, and I will continue to hear and see you when the light bar is on. When the light bar is not on, it will return to the view pictured above.

    Client’s wishing to engage in Teletherapy can be assured of my continued commitment to privacy and confidentiality.  I will utilize headphones/earbuds to assure your end of the conversation is only heard by me. No one will be in the room with me during the session without your knowledge, and efforts will be made to prevent sound travel from my end of the conversation.

    I will likely ask questions to confirm your location, privacy, and safety at the beginning of session.  Crisis resources and safety plans will be reviewed as appropriate, as my ability to address safety concerns is more limited when I am working remotely.  It is my commitment to offer the same quality of care remotely as I would offer at an in-person session.  We may need to work together to “find a groove” with Teletherapy, even if we already had a comfort level and routine already established in our in-person sessions.  We will be patient with one another and find our way through it together!

    I plan to keep Teletherapy available to my clients as we continue to make our way through (and out of!) the Pandemic.  When office policies permit in-person sessions, I will continue to provide the option of Teletherapy for those clients who are in at-risk groups, such as senior citizens, those with compromised immune systems, pregnant women, those with respiratory conditions, etc.  In-person sessions are still preferred, though not at the cost of one’s health, safety, or peace of mind.


     

    Bringing Hope to Dayton…one cup at at time!

    4 years ago · · 0 comments

    Bringing Hope to Dayton…one cup at at time!

    Summer 2019 was a very challenging time for the Greater Dayton, Ohio area, and a time that landed the community in the national news on multiple occasions.  A Ku Klux Klan rally on May 25th brought a tangible sense of hate to our streets, followed by 14 tornadoes causing devastation across the area on the 27th, leaving many families without homes and many businesses destroyed.  June brought more heartache as it became known that a former elementary school teacher in the area had sexually abused 28 first grade girls.  Perhaps the most nationally visible tragedy of all came in August when a heavily armed shooter opened fire at a club in the popular Oregon District, killing 9 people, injuring 27, and forever changing the neighborhood and its businesses.

    Photo Credit: Tabitha Guidone, Creative Director & Owner Decoy Art Center

    Don’t let this string of events lead you to believe that the Greater Dayton Area is weakened.  In fact, we are coming together in the most beautiful ways!  From food drives, to fund raisers, to community events, Dayton has come together in healing and in love.   One unique example is the Greater Dayton Mugs of Hope program, spearheaded by Paintbrush Pottery of Springboro (owner Kelsey Richard) and Decoy Art Center of Beavercreek (owner Tabitha Guidone).  Richard and Guidone envisioned  an opportunity for Daytonians to come together to create painted mugs to be distributed across the area (along with prizes and gift cards) to encourage those in need and spread a message of love, hope, and healing.  Guidone explains, “We wanted to provide that vessel to allow one person to reach another anonymously but sincerely.”

    Photo Credit: Kelsey Richard, Owner Paintbrush Pottery

    With the support of Mayco Colors (who provided supplies) and Cozy Melts Pottery (who donated kiln usage), as well as event host locations including Sugarcreek Parks, Star City Brewery, Broken & Beloved, Cornell Studio Supply, Grass Roots Enrichment, We Care Arts, and Front Street, Richard and Guidone were able to offer mug painting parties across the Miami Valley.  Over the fall months, a total of 500 mugs will be handprinted by Daytonians wishing to spread a message of comfort, hope, and healing.  Additionally, thanks to donors, a $5 registration fee/donation from participants will be funneled directly into the community, distributing over $2000 among local programs and charities.  Recipient charities include Community Action Partnership, which offers relief to those affected by tornadoes in Greene and Montgomery Counties, BOGG Ministries, which works to reduce hunger in the area, Dayton Children’s Hospital, and the Dayton Foundation. Guidone observed, “Everyone has such a big heart, and [is] willing to give and never asked for anything in return.  We have an amazing community filled with lovely people and business owners.”

    Photo Credit: Tabitha Guidone, Creative Director & Owner Decoy Art Center

    The mugs were distributed in waves across the Dayton area, each filled with goodies, gift cards, prizes, and bearing a message of community and hope.  Some of the messages, carefully chosen and painted on the mugs include: “Dayton Strong”, “We are united”, “You are loved”, “You are worthy”, and “Dayton Proud.”  Each painter was encouraged to express the message they most wanted to share with another Daytonian who might be hurting, so painters were able to experience some healing themselves as they freely expressed themselves artistically and contributed to Good in the community.

    Kelsey Richard, owner of Paintbrush Pottery, observes that she and her co-planner were inspired by the response of businesses, painters, and mug recipients.  “I am truly humbled by the amount of people that got involved.  We have awesome communities that make up the Greater Dayton region.  2019 has proved we are Dayton Strong.  Dayton is a great city.  The people in Dayton are incredible for coming together and proving that we are a city of love, strength, and hope!”

    Photo Credit: Liz Engel

    I personally was very excited to participate in Mugs of Hope as a painter, thanks to the invitation and suggestion of my dear friend Liz, who knows I was deeply saddened by the series of community traumas Dayton endured in Summer 2019.  A fellow creative and a positive soul, Liz was the perfect painting buddy!  We painted our mugs in September, and it was a very therapeutic experience.  The opportunity to express our feelings artistically and participate in community healing in some small way had a powerful impact on us both.  We met some other great Daytonians and enjoyed seeing the artwork and messages others wanted to share.  I believe both Liz and I left the event feeling more hopeful and connected.

    To the individual who received the mug I painted, I pray it brings you some sunshine (I painted a sun) and a smile.  When you sip from your mug, know that I was thinking of you when I painted it, whoever you are.  May it stir in you positive energy, resilience, and of course hope!


     

     

    The Brave Trees

    4 years ago · · 0 comments

    The Brave Trees

     

     

     

     

     

    For ages, trees have carried a lot of metaphorical, symbolic, cultural, and spiritual meaning across the globe.  Art, literature, and spiritual practices present us with many examples of  rich metaphors trees can offer us.  It’s now wonder then, that tree images can be powerful tools in healing, recovery, and building on strengths. Think about all the different kinds of trees in diverse climates around the world.  There are mighty pines, which maintain the green color throughout the year, while others transform and go through cycles of dormancy and rejuvenation.  There are palm trees with flexible trunks, able to withstand hurricane force winds.  There are fruit bearing trees which offer sustenance.

     

     

     

     

     

    What type of tree resonates with you?  How does it represent your journey?  What type of tree helps you build the strengths, skills, or attitudes you need to navigate life with resilience?  What parts of the tree are significant to you?  The roots, trunk, branches, fruit

    Here’s a little about my tree…

    Through the years, there has been a cluster of trees in a certain location in Northern Michigan that has always carried a lot of meaning for me.  I grew up visiting Traverse City, Michigan and its surrounding areas with my family, and we now have members of our extended family who have made their homes “Up North.”  This area has always been a place where I feel connected to my loved ones and to nature, where I can relax and recharge.  A place we frequently visit is the Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore,  a  part of the National Parks on the shore of Lake Michigan in Empire, Michigan.

    In September my husband and I took a trip “Up North” to visit family.  I was so eager to show him the places that are so important to me.  We visited Sleeping Bear on a chilly, windy day. The sky was gray and spitting misty rain on and off.  Not the most picturesque but beautiful in a very different way.

    The “Brave Trees” at Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore, Lake Michigan Overlook. September 2019.

    At one spot called “The Lake Michigan Overlook” we came upon the cluster of trees of which I am so fond.  I have seen them in gleaming sunshine, blistering heat, snow, rain, and wind.  They’re still there.  I’m not sure what kind of trees they are – I’m no arborist – but I call them the Brave Trees.  Through the many years that I have returned to this spot, these trees have survived.  They lean out over a steep cliff-like sand dune, out over the expansive lake 450 feet below.  They have withstood the harsh elements, erosion, and time.  To me, they represent courage, perseverance, resilience, and fortitude.  They are my Brave Trees.  When I need to cue up some courage, when I need to stir up some inner strength, these trees inspire me.

    There are lots of ways to explore the symbolic meaning of trees using visualization, movement, and art.  Consider drawing, painting, or sculpting a tree that you find meaningful.  Experiment with “planting your roots” or “waving your branches” through movement.  Ask your therapist to guide you through a meditation using tree imagery.

    Here is a great guided visualization called “Grounding Tree” from Dr. Jamie Marich, founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness.

     

    Feeling Safe

    5 years ago · · 0 comments

    Feeling Safe

    When scary things happen, like the terrible shooting in Dayton last night, it’s good to make an effort to restore feelings of safety as much as possible. That’s one of the reasons the Dayton Convention Center has been converted to a Family Resource Center to help people reunite with loved ones and get and feel safe again.

    I was not directly affected by the shooting, but someone very dear to us was there and played an important part in helping the victims of the shooting. The Oregon District has been a place I’ve enjoyed good food and friendship.  This horrific shooting rocked my sense of safety in very new and real ways, and I am brokenhearted for the city I call home.

    Trying to find some reassurance and calm again, I went to two places today that reliably help me settle down: my church and the farmer’s market.  The opportunity to cry, pray, sing, and receive some comforting words from our associate pastor did wonders for me, but I still needed more.  So this afternoon I went to a farmer’s market near our home.  It smelled of sweet melons that were warm from the sun.  I took my time looking and smelling and picking.  I chatted with the kind woman working there. Soon I felt a little more relief.

    If any of you are feeling unsettled, frightened, or unsafe after the news of the shootings that have occurred in El Paso and Dayton, or certainly if you were directly affected by these incidents, I encourage you to take some steps to help reassure you body and your mind of your current safety.  We cannot guarantee safety everywhere 100% of the time, but we can seek out moments of calm and safety when we need them.

    One tool that I teach many of my clients to help find some calm when life feels chaotic or scary is a resource called “The Calm Space.”  It’s a very simple visualization technique that can help settle the body and the mind, releasing tension, quieting racing thoughts, and slowing down the activated central nervous system.  It’s a fairly simple process.

       

    1. To start with, find a physical space where you can sit or lie still with minimal distractions.  You might have to tell people around you to not bother you for a few minutes.
    2. Get in a comfortable posture in which your body is supported, like lying down on your back or sitting in a comfortable chair.
    3. Start to deepen your breathing, making sure you take full breaths that cause your belly to expand, as opposed to a shallow breath that makes your shoulders move a lot.
    4. Begin to picture in your mind a place where you feel calm and safe.  It can be made up or real. It could be the beach, a field of sunflowers, a cabin by the lake, or even a space in your own home.
    5. Once you have the place in your mind, bring up the sensations that you enjoy in that place: the things you see (colors, shapes, movement), sounds (distinct sounds or ambient noise), smells, tastes, and things you can feel through the sense of touch (temperature, texture, objects to hold). Take your time to enjoy these pleasant sensations and savor them.
    6. If you like, pick one specific detail to focus on for a new moments – for me right now it’s the smell of the sugar cube melons at the farmer’s market!
    7. When you’re done enjoying your calm space, slowly and gently start to shift your attention back to the present moment, maybe by noticing the breath or the sensations in the space where you are sitting/lying.
    8. Notice how your mind and body feel different now.

    The Calm Space resource is a great way to help relax a tense body and quiet an overactive mind.  It’s best to use this when you intellectually know you are safe, but you body and emotions cause you to feel unsafe.  Do not use this resource if you are currently in a dangerous environment or one that requires alertness like while driving a car.

    Resources and coping skills like this can help you manage between counseling sessions are while you are working on setting up counseling services, but they do not replace psychotherapy.  If you are in need of crisis services or ongoing counseling help is available.  If you have medical insurance, your insurance card will have a phone number on the back that you can call to find a counselor.  You could also try doing a provider search on your insurance company’s website.  Another resource for those with and without insurance in your county’s mental health board.  A simple google search will likely help you find a phone number for them.  You may also call my office at 513-217-5221.  If I cannot help you myself, I will help you find someone who can!


     

    World Elder Abuse Awareness Day

    5 years ago · · 0 comments

    World Elder Abuse Awareness Day

    Friday, June 15 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. On that day, communities in the USA and all over the world will sponsor events to highlight solutions to this systemic social challenge.

    As Americans, we believe in justice for all. Yet we fail to live up to this promise when we allow older members of our society to be abused or neglected. Older people are vital, contributing members of American society, and their maltreatment diminishes all of us. Just as we have confronted and addressed the social issues of child abuse and domestic violence, so too can we find solutions to address issues like elder abuse, which also threatens the well-being of our community.

    Our policies and practices make it hard for older people to stay involved with and connected to our communities as they age. As a result, older people are more likely to experience social isolation, which increases the likelihood of abuse and neglect. We can design stronger societal supports to keep our older people connected and protect them from abuse, whether financial, emotional, physical, or sexual. When we address a root cause, like social isolation, we also make it less likely that people will neglect themselves (self-neglect). Older adults who are socially connected and protected from harm are less likely to be hospitalized, less likely to go into nursing homes, and less likely to die.

    We can and must create healthier and safer living environments for older adults, including their homes, nursing homes, and assisted living facilities.

    Get more information about how to make a difference by visiting the National Center on Elder Abuse https://ncea.acl.gov or by calling the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 to explore local community services and supports.

     

    Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

    5 years ago · · 0 comments

    Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

    Originally published in 1995, Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages: The Secrets to Love That Lasts” has become a very popular reading choice for couples looking to deepen, strengthen, and maintain the love that forms the foundation of their relationship. The subsequent editions of the book have been updated and the author has also written additional books applying the Five Love Languages to the unique needs and experiences of children, teens, and men.

    Chapman identifies the Five Love Languages as:

    1. Words of Affirmation
    2. Acts of Service
    3. Gift Giving/Receiving
    4. Physical Touch
    5. Quality Time

    His premise is that we all give and receive love in different ways, but we can run into trouble in relationships if we are not “speaking the same language” as our partner.  We can miss expressions of love from our partner if we’re not away of the way they say “I love you”, and we can be misunderstood just the same.

    As a Baptist Pastor, Chapman’s presentation of the Five Languages takes a very Biblical and Christian slant, though his degrees in Anthropology clearly inform his work as well.  Though the book has a “churchy” feel in a lot of ways, I believe non-Christian readers can certainly benefit from the book.

    For those who find the book helpful, online resources on the Five Love Languages (including a really fun test you can take to identify your love language!) are available at www.5lovelanguages.com.


    I give this book a B+.

    Chapman gives practical advice that can be applied in everyday life, which is one of the primary things I look for in any self-help book.  I love the specific instructions and guidance he offers of things to try, even in the most challenging of relationship dynamics (see Chapter 12: Loving the Unlovely).  One recommendation Chapman encourages that I find essential for a healthy relationship (and I’m speaking as both a therapist and as a married woman) is prioritizing a regular date night.  He even offers solutions for prioritizing time together when schedules and budgets are tight.

    I do have some complaints about this book, however.  While I feel very confident that Chapman has noble intentions, “The Five Love Languages” does lack attention to diversity.  Chapman’s examples and recommendations reflect a strong bias toward the white Christian (and Protestant) heterosexual relationship.  I suspect many non-Christians might be turned off or even discount what could otherwise be very helpful.  Additionally, Chapman’s writing is only minimally trauma informed.  His recommendations related to physical intimacy lack an awareness toward survivors of sexual trauma, and there is minimal consideration of dysfunctional power dynamics linked to domestic violence.

    As with all self-help books, this cannot take the place of therapy (especially couple’s therapy), but it can supplement or even help identify areas to address with a therapist.

     


    Chapman, G.D. (2015). The 5 love languages. Chicago: Northfield Pub.


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